Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Malaysian English Boleh!!!


ACTUAL SENTENCES FOUND ON GOVERNMENT HOSPITAL PATIENT'S CHARTS:

>> 1) She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she
>> was hot in bed last night.

>> 2) Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

>> 3) On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

>> 4) The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to
>> be depressed.

>> 5) The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

>> 6) Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

>> 7) Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

>> 8) The patient refused autopsy.


>> 10) Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

>> 11) Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with
>> only a 40 pound weight gain in the past 3 days.

>> 12) Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

>> 13) Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

>> 14) Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might
>> want to work her up.

>> 15) She is numb from her toes down.

>> 16) While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

>> 17) The skin was moist and dry.

>> 18) Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

>> 19) Patient was alert and unresponsive.

>> 20) Rectal examination revealed a normal sized thyroid.

>> 21) She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,
>> until she got a divorce.

>> 22) I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

>> 23) Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
>>
>> 24) Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

>> 25) The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
>>
>> 26) The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job
>> as a stockbroker instead.

>> 27) Skin: somewhat pale but present.

>> 28) The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

>> 29) Patient was seen in consultation by Dr Ishak, who felt we should
>> sit on the abdomen and I agree.

>> 30) Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

>> 31) Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

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